I know today has been a really nice day out really the last two days have been nice. I got to sit outside watching my cat gizmo who stays outside play and jump at bugs. It really made me feel at ease watching him and taking in the weather. The tulips are about to bloom. I sat there in the sun thinking about Christine a lot today. I know it will be a long time to get over the shock because when my Mom died 10 years ago it took me a long while to get over the fact and we expected my mom's death since she had cancer. Christine loved flowers, and trees. With Easter coming Christine would get those plastic eggs and hang them up in the trees in her yard. You could always go over to her house and she would have flags and things outside or inside for the matter on display for the holiday. She loved decorating things. I can't believe that I cannot pick up the phone and talk to her I wanted to today several times badly. We would talk on the phone usually 3 times a day when I was off of work but sometimes when it was my day to work I would generally get a call into her at least once that day.

When you lose someone it makes you and others around you realize things. Phillip and me having been living together for about 5 years. This made his realize that he doesn't want me going anywhere. Which before he didn't want me going anywhere than either but he is wanting to make more of a comminment to me and the kids. So only time will tell I am happy with the way things are and have been between us. But if Marriage comes along I will be very blessed and happy. I just wish Christine had been around to see.